


going down the rabbit hole (get away from all we know)

by plinys



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-01
Updated: 2014-10-01
Packaged: 2018-02-19 13:25:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2389883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plinys/pseuds/plinys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the loss of his partner, Fitz gets back into a Jaeger again for the first time with a new partner, Mack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	going down the rabbit hole (get away from all we know)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [isloremipsumafterall](https://archiveofourown.org/users/isloremipsumafterall/gifts).



> because i am shameless about my want to write aus, and yes, this was prompted (sorta) and hella necessary.

“Don’t chase the rabbit. Don’t chase the rabbit,” a voice in the back of his head repeats like a mantra.

At this point he’s not sure if it’s his subconscious or Koenig back in the control room, “Don’t chase the rabbit. Don’t chase the rabbit.”

“Hey, Turbo, you okay over there,” and this voice, it’s one that breaks the barrier of his mind and his eyes flash open for a second remembering where they are.

They’re inside the Jaeger, suited up, ready to test their drift compatibility and see if maybe they can get this thing to work. His suit feels tight on his skin, and his heart is pounding out an inconsistent rhythm, but at least now he’s aware of what’s going on.

The only words he can manage to get out are, “don’t chase the rabbit.”

“Yeah, you’ve been repeating for the last five minutes,” his – his partner, Mack, says.

Of all the people he had expected to be drift compatible with, Mack had never factored into his calculations. In the months since- since the accident, he hadn’t expected to ever pilot one of these things again. There was damage to his brain, instability, and everybody else looked at him like he was something fragile about to break.

When he stopped in the middle of a sentence, so used to his former partner and the way they would ghost drift, finishing each other’s thoughts and sentences even outside the Jaeger, everybody else would just look at him with those sad worried eyes and offer half-hearted condolences.

He’d been stuck on lab duty since then, which would have been fine (after all, he had become part of the program because of his research in engineering), if he hadn’t been forced to look across the lab and see the other half empty.

Mack had sort of ended up filling that half, and then he filled the other blanks.

He was one that knew the way to fill the gaps, the words that he just couldn’t seem to remember.

And maybe Mack didn’t get it one hundred percent right, but it was the zero percent he had been getting before.

“Sorry,” he manages to say, even though he’s sure Mack already knows that- that was one of the things about drifting your partner was inside your head.

He supposed that explained then the bit of clarity he was currently having, the sudden relief of the tension that had been building on his shoulders for so long.

It was like a breath of fresh air, which was a bit ironic seeing as he was currently trapped inside the very airless head of a Jaeger, not unlike-

“Don’t chase the rabbit. Don’t chase the rabbit,” and this time he knows it is not his own head, it is somebody else’s voice.

He almost thinks that it’s somebody back in the control room, but Koenig’s voice is not as comforting or as feminine as the voice in his ear, in the back of his mind, that reminds him not the chase the rabbit.

But like a child being told not to press a red button, he falls victim to reverse psychologs.

“Hey, Turbo- Fitz, buddy, hold on, it’s not real just-“

He had slammed his eyes shut the moment the panic began to settle in, but now he opens them and can understand what Mack is talking about.

They’re not strapped into the machine anymore, or maybe they are, reality is a bit of a blend and he cannot tell the difference anymore.

She’s there, clear as day, not in their suits, but instead in a sweater, looking just like this was any other day in the labs.

Except they’re not in the lab.

they’re trapped in the head of a Jaeger at the bottom of an ocean and there is no way out of this that means survival.

“I like to think about the first law of thermodynamics,” her voice says. Its familiar, a recreation from his mind, and yet he hears it all through a haze, like they’re drowning already, unable to reach the surface, except that can’t be right because he was never awake for that part, “that no energy in the universe is created-“

“And none is destroyed,” he finishes, because this is his dream, his memory, his traitorous mind that they’re trapped in bringing back this memory.

He already knows how this story ends. He knows his role to play, which words will prompt the recollection of her to continue with the story.

“That means that every bit of energy inside us,” his projection of her continues.

There are hands on his shoulders, or in his mind, it’s all confusing and unreal, but there’s somebody there, holding him in place, keeping him grounded to reality.

Because this, this scene playing out before his eyes is not reality, and he knows that- somewhere in the back of his mind, he knows that.

And he doesn’t have to turn around to know who it is, not when they’re in each other’s minds like this.

“It’s okay,” Mack says, and maybe that’s what he needed, somebody to just say that this was okay, “I got you. Just steady your breathing and-“

He can’t hear the rest of what Mack is trying to say, but he sucks in a deep breath, he clutches his hands tighter, and the voice that’s saying, “Maybe live as a dragonfish, a microbe, maybe burn in a supernova ten billion years from now,” slowly fades away.

He blinks his eyes and she’s gone, the display of the jaeger doesn’t show the bottom of the ocean, but instead it shows the shatterdome once more.

The feeling of ghost-like hands upon his shoulders hadn’t faded, but he can breathe clearer now, the feeling of claustrophobia and panic has lifted away.

“Thank you,” he says, the words sticking in his throat, trapped and yet crawling their way out.

“I know,” Mack just says, and it’s with a little grin that while he doesn’t have to turn his head to see it, he can feel the warmth of it filling him, “I know.”

 


End file.
